So hello everyone.  I have been asked to write a blog of my nine days in the window of Waterstones Clapham Junction.  This pleases me greatly because - as those of you that read my books know.  I enjoy writing very much.  Whether anyone will find this blog or read it - I have no idea.  I have 100,000 readers out there somewhere who I know enjoy the idiocy of my writing.  But this will be just for you.  Any of you who are crazy enough to find this.  A bit of Losada that will never be in a book.  It makes a change.  I can say whatever I like here and no-one will have the power to edit.  Ha ha. Anyway, it's the night before and here I am. 

Why am I spending nine days in a shop window? I thought you'd ask that.  We have the local SW11 Literary Festival and so I thought it would be a good time to reveal that all the cliches about how stuffy authors are - well, they are all true.  We don't get out much. We just sit with our computers tapping away, filling ourselved with all kind of evil currents that seep from the lap-top and going slowly white through lack of sunshine. 

We have very poor social skills and any that we once had are slowly lost as the years go by. No-one every wants to actually speak to authors you see.  Even publishers and agents only ever communicate with you by email.  It's one further on from children.  Children should be seen and not heard. Authors should be not seen and not heard either.  Really - I'm not lying to you.  No-one ever phones.  Once every two years - if you're lucky, your agent may buy you lunch if you've finished a book.  That's about it really. 

That's why we all get madder and madder and turn into solitary creatures that wear strange clothes and can only relate to animals.  But not me.  This week I may not be heard - but I will at least be seen.  I will be seen from when Waterstones opens at 9am to when it closes at 7pm.  The window through which I will be peered at will act as a third wall made of glass as I go about doing all the things that I normally do all day.  And how will this work out?  I have no idea.  I'll let you know.