"Mayor coming in Two MInutes" Waterstones Window - Day 3.

I arrived at 9am.  I left at 7pm. I didn't leave the window for more than 5 minutes all day.'What do you do?' Someone asked.  'Aren't you bored?'  Bored?  I didn't even find thirty minutes today to meditate.  I've been too busy.  So what exactly am I up to?  Well, please bear in mind that I'm in a window that is very large and as people walk by it's impossible for me not to wave at them.  I need to indicate in some way that I'm an author and that I have written the books I'm sitting with so they understand that what I'm doing there.  This looks something like this...

Then they either laugh at me (which pleases me greatly as I'm quite happy to be laughed at) or they become curious and wander into Waterstone's and want to talk with me about what I do.  They ask questions and as the various books are on subjects about which I am passionate - happiness, living life to the full, etc I'm always happy to talk about my work.  Often they want buy a book which pleases me hugely.  I mean HUGELY as I adore my books and I'm always overjoyed when someone wants to read one.  This may seem odd and I don't mean to boast in any way - but I am passionate about my books.  Why would I want to be a writer and ask anyone to read my books if I didn't think they are great and will make people laugh?  So I point at them at hold them up.  All authors have to do this in one way or another.  This is just perhaps a little more direct? :-) One can't be backward in being forward sometimes. 

Then of course as well as this there is all the normal business of the day to be dealt with.  Emails, phone calls, the essential matters - like Tweeting and facebook.  I have long ago given up any hope of doing any editing of my next book.  When people phone I chat to them and explain that, as I do so, there are lots of people looking at me through a window.  There is a small crowd pointing and laughing or looking very surprised... it's rather hard to concentrate on phone calls.  One friend asked, 'Where are you now?  Is this a good moment to chat?'  'Well, I'm in a window.. a shop window... there are a lot of peope watching me... why?  well... er... actually can I call you back? It is a little difficult to give you my undivided attention....' 

Then there is the matter of the children that pass.  As a window exhibit I can't resist entertaining the children.  I am a strange object after all - like a monkey at the zoo. I can dance and leap about - I can lift weights - I can pat my plastic dog and, most wonderful of all, I can blow bubbles.  Bubbles produce squeals of delight from anyone under the age of 3.  I mean, squeals.

Of course - it's a bit of a ploy.  Having got delighted grins from child I then persuade mother or father to take a leaflet for the SW11 Festival. I point frantically at the leaflets as they look around wondering whether, in paying attention to me, they are likely to miss their bus.  Huge comedy potential here.

Every now and again I have to stand up and touch my toes so that my knees don't give up on me.  I have to blow up a balloon for a slightly older little person.... I have to tie ribbon on said balloon. Then there is welcoming visitors.  Today a friend came and brought - get this... 1. Flowers.  2. Coffee.  3.  Croissant.  4.  Extra Balloons.  5. Vase for flowers.  6.  Drinking water both for flowers and for me. [Take a bow CJ Brown] Another friend arrived and wanted Twitter advice, a third asked casually said 'How do I get my book published by the way? I thought I'd ask you while you're here... I mean you're not busy are you?' 

Two men who live above the shop brought me Pizza - which would have been fabulous except they brought Pizza with chopped dead pig in.  Can you imagine?  'Thats very sweet of you.' I said, 'but I'm afraid I don't eat pigs.'  I haven't had time for lunch yet.  22:15pm.  Maybe tomorrow.

And then, at 4pm - the Lady Mayor of Wandsworth came. :-)  With her chain of office on.  Oh joy and fun of all kinds.  Emma, the Waterstone's assistant manager was dragged from behind the till and I was made to come out of my window while we amused the residents of Battersea with our posing and photo taking.  'Can I have a book for my friend?' said Jane, the Mayor. 'I'll give it to her and then borrow it off her to read.' ha ha.  'Yes, Yes - of course.'  Just wonderful of her to come down and to take time out of her crazy schedule.  I could have kissed her.  Well, I did kiss her - obviously.  Being the Mayor must be the best job in the world.  Wherever she goes becomes the centre of wherever you are.  And everyone is delighted.

Aside from Mayor Jane's generosity of time and spirit and the eternal patience of the busy Waterstone's staff - the ever even more magical and most mystical seconds and fractions of seconds of the day are just those faces that pass.  They may not even stop.  They many not even slow their pace.  But they catch me, out of the corner of an eye, grinning at them.  And they grin back at me and smile...